What I Learned Playing Grand Theft Auto

There’s definitely some lessons to be learned when you’re bored at home and need to use your time unwisely because you just had surgery on your knee and can’t walk.  That’s pretty much been me for a few weeks after having surgery the Wednesday before Christmas.  Don’t worry…I’m only going stir crazy and may not make it out of this loneliness and bitterness of being home grounded for a few weeks more.

I was sputtering through Target in the motorized cart one evening to get a few necessities and came across the Greatest Hits game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas for the PS3.  I played it on the XBOX a long time ago and pretty much wanted to relive being worthless so I picked it up to play while I’m shackled to the couch to let my knee heal.

Not only did I get a solid gaming experience but I learned some valuable life lessons that will stick with me as an adult.  Here are a few bullet points I’d like to share to the rest of you.

The driving skills correlate exactly to how people drive in real life.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten behind these horribly slow and life threatening drivers, who not only putt along but also make invalid turns and eventually side swipe you into the oncoming train without a second thought.

Maybe when they take the driving tests these days they play the videos of Grand Theft Auto scenes to show you how to use these techniques in real life because I see a ton of resemblances.

It’s always last second turns too.  When you anticipate them going straight while you hit 100 mph on the bike going through a traffic light but they almost always end up turning the moment you go through.  It’s frustrating to say the least.

If you want to steal a car all you have to do is open the door and punch someone in the face.  That’s it.  A cop can be sitting on his bike in front of you and won’t even look back as you forcefully open the door of an unsuspecting patron, punch them in the face and pull them out onto the concrete as you speed off in their vehicle.

They won’t even approach you to take their car back.  They’ll just run in a circle for a minute and then take off down the block, because, you know, that’s typically what happens when you carjack someone.  I mean, that’s what I’d do if someone tried to steal my car.

I’d immediately get up after being thrown out of my vehicle and spin around three times and then head down the block for some ice cream.

I also learned that if I ever commit a crime, all I need to do to get the fuzz off my tail is go to the paint shop and cough up a $100 and I’m scott free.  The police won’t recognize me and I can continue on creating mayhem in the streets, punching fat ladies and running over oncoming patrons because I can’t drive worth a flip.

Anyone else play this game?  I know it’s like 10 years old but surely someone else still picks it up for nostalgic purposes.  Hopefully you get as much entertainment out of it as I do.

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