Hurricane Supplies

Pending this hurricane Irma garbage that’s supposed to come up my way here pretty soon, I’ve attentively been paying attention to people’s behaviors when I go out in public.  We went to Sam’s Club to get some groceries on Saturday and posted up at the snack bar and started observing what people were putting in their carts.  Here’s my list…

Of course everyone was stocking up on the 40 packs of bottled water but some people had carts with some odd choices.  This one dude checked out with a giant box of Frosted Flakes and a gallon of milk in tow.  Because that’s all he needs in the wake of pending doom.  I saw a military guy in fatigues with two jugs of orange juice.  That was strange…except that I have to assume these guys know what they’re doing so I questioned whether I need to get some OJ myself.

I’m no expert on planning for natural disasters but I still don’t understand why the first thing that disappears off the shelves is bread and milk.  What kind of combination is that?  I’m not sure that even if I was hungry that a bread sandwich and a glass of milk would even be enticing enough for me to digest.  Well, for one, milk gives me the bubble guts and I can clear out a room rather quickly when it starts to sink into my gut.

Milk doesn’t even taste like anything either.  It’s similar to water.  There’s no appeal to drink it.  I mean, if I squirt some chocolate or strawberry flavoring in it I would drink it.  But I’m still blowing out my backside like a trumpet.

I don’t understand why everything that has no flavor is good for you and everything that tastes great has to be bad!  The debate for a meal is always whether I want to work toward getting a six pack and muscles to look fit by eating plain boring food or do I want to continue on the downward slope of obesity and enjoy what I eat?  Most of the time obesity wins.

I can’t definitely tell I’ve been getting fatter.  There’s no denying it.  It’s even starting to show through my clothes.  I used to be able to suck my stomach in but now that technique has vaporized off my list of life hacks.  Now I have an undeniable dad bod and I’m not even a dad.

I really don’t have an excuse why I’m out of shape.  I have plenty of time and opportunity to go to the gym and workout.  The least I could do is maintain.  I drive by the gym every day on my way home and within about a quarter mile both sides of my brain start arguing on whether or not to pull in and break a sweat.  Nowadays the decision is keep driving until you hit McDonald’s!

So I’ve basically gone off subject here with no rhyme or reason.  In fact I’m too lazy to even go back and read what I started writing so I’m just going to end with this.

People are lazy and stupid.

That’s all.